I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
