As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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