I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
