You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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