You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
