Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize