it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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