i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
