in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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