I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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