He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
