I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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