does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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