i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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