I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
