Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
