i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
