You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
