so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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