seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
