jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
