Girls should come with a carfax report
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
