I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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