I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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