Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The beer is more important than you right now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
