Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
