Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
