What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
