so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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