Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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