so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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