I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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