i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
