at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
