Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can I color on your dick again?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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