Pants 0. Shit 1.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
