You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
