I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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