just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
MIDGETS
????
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
