She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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