i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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