the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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