its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
