i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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