thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
