Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
