I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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