She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
