on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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