You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
