Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
this hospital has no fireball
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
