We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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