Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
