A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
