is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
