Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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