i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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