with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
