I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
