so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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