Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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