he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
