it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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