You're completely useless in the revolution.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
