is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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