You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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