so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
