go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
