Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize