it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
