Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize