it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize