yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
