Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
